Pink Pork Phobia

I've gotten over many childhood fears: the Abominable Snowman, vampires, and the Headless Donna sideshow at the fair, to name a few. I'm generally not scared of real things. I travel solo to foreign lands, stand in front of the microwave when heating leftovers in plastic, and regard expiration dates as suggestions, not mandates. However, I do not eat pink pork.

My husband has always been our primary chef and prepares delightful dinners almost every evening. He makes a delicious pork loin but I usually only eat the edges. He assures me he used a meat thermometer and allowed the meat to rest. The Internet even says it's fine. But I can explain my fear in a single word echoing from the depths of my childhood: trichinosis. Allegedly this is a very rare occurrence these days due to modern farming techniques, yet I cannot overcome the dread of worms wiggling around my intestines. Thanks, Mom, for keeping me safe with those overbaked Shake 'n' Bake pork chops and for a lifetime fear I might never have known about otherwise.

It's funny what sticks with you and what you let go of. I still toss salt over my left shoulder if I knock over the shaker, but I don't know why. I'm not scared something bad will happen. It's more of a habit. I haven't worried about Friday the 13th ever since I saw a movie advertised as Martes, el 13 when I was studying abroad. Tuesday the 13th is the bad luck day in Colombia? Well, that's just silly. I still say "fingers crossed" but I don't actually cross them. I tell my daughter to break a leg when she performs in local theater productions, but I certainly hope she does not actually fracture her femur.

Very Superstitious

All of us picked up superstitions from our cultures. In the U.S. we blow out birthday candles, knock on wood, and bless people when they sneeze with nary a thought. I inherited my ability to find four-leaf clovers from my Grandma King and stuffed encyclopedias full of the green mutations as a child. My own daughter Anna has the knack as well. We not so secretly believe it's because we're lucky people.

Superstitions vary from culture to culture. In China, the number four is bad luck because the word for 'four' sounds like the word for 'death'. On the other hand, the number eight and the color red are auspicious. Giving someone a knife as a gift may very well sever your relationship. Gifting clocks or watches is also a no no, implying a final farewell. Sorry kid, no Apple watch for you. Sticking your chopsticks upright in your rice is also taboo, akin to inviting death to the table.

Flowers are rife with superstitions , especially yellow flowers. In Russia, yellow roses signal jealousy and infidelity and should not be given to a romantic partner. In France, yellow carnations can represent bad luck or disappointment. In Mexico, marigolds guide the spirits of the dead back to earth on El Dia de los Muertos. In many countries, white flowers are for funerals only and you should never give someone an even number of flowers unless it is for a funeral.

A lot of superstitions, myths, and legends originate from a goal of keeping people safe. For example, in Mexican culture, la llorona is a vengeful ghost who drowned her children in a fit of rage. She weeps and wanders along the banks and shores of rivers and lakes, seeking other children to take to her watery grave. Clearly, this is a cautionary tale designed to keep kids from wandering near dangerous waters.

Fear Not

We can agree that a little fear is not a bad thing. We want our children to be afraid of deep waters, hot stoves, busy streets, and strangers with candy or lost puppies. We even want them to be a little frightened of what will happen when we slowly count to the number three. Fear can keep us safe from doing stupid things (like standing in front of the microwave while nuking leftovers in a plastic container.)

However, I fear that fear has overtaken us.

We've all heard FDR's famous quote "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." But do we really think about what it means? We should be afraid of being afraid. Being afraid is bad. Fear is paralyzing and incapacitating. Fear is the tool of bullies, bad bosses, dictators, and terrorists. Often the consequences of standing up to them are real. Yet, it's the only way to stop them. Fear turns bystanders into collaborators. What if instead of one Alexei Navalny or Dietrich Bonhoeffer there were a dozen or a hundred or a thousand?

I'm not suggesting that people can 'just stop being afraid' and transform like Clark Kent in a phone booth into Superman. I'm advocating for cultivating courage, just like we exercise our minds and bodies. We can take small steps of bravery to build up our backbone. Try doing one small thing every day that makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe it's making a phone call or scheduling an appointment or telling your boss your true opinion or wearing a bathing suit in public. Maybe it's joining a snake identification group on Facebook to help with your ophidiophobia (ahem, me).

The goal isn't to be fearless. The goal is to have the strength to do the right thing even when we're afraid. If we face our fears and anxiety, we can slowly tame them. Let's learn to laugh and sing and dance when we're anxious and afraid. Little by little, step by step, but always moving toward courage. If we work on building up our bravery muscles together, we can put a powerful dent into fear mongering. We may even discover that many of our fears are unfounded. Who's with me?

What are you afraid of or anxious about? What tiny act of valor can you attempt today?

Maybe I'll start by eating my husband's pork loin.

So damn scary